Do You Try Way Too Hard To Make Everyone Around You Happy

Are you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and anxious

Janice Tovey
3 min readMay 12, 2022


Photo by Swati Kedia on Unsplash

Have you ever been accused of being a doormat? Do you try way too hard to make everyone around you happy? Do you often sacrifice your own needs for those of others? Is your day ruined and your mood down turned if you fail in this lofty goal? Do you feel personally responsible if someone is having a bad day and feel that YOU have to fix it for them? Do you feel morally superior if someone refers to you as a saint?

If you answered yes to any of these questions you may be a “people pleaser.” You negate your own desires and feelings for the sake of another person. Living for another’s happiness becomes an obsession. You are riddled with thoughts of what you can do right and what you did wrong. You feel responsible for another person’s emotional state.

This is an unfulfilling and uncomfortable way to live. In fact, it is no way to live.

Why Do You Do It?

  • You may fear being rejected and being alone.
  • You don’t like confrontation.
  • You don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
  • You secretly desire something from the other person.
  • You think if you treat them well, they will treat you well.
  • You desperately want to be “one of the crowd.”
  • You experience tremendous guilt if you disappoint someone.
  • You are just a really nice person and truly care.
  • You find it difficult to say no and are easily influenced.
  • You don’t care enough about your own needs. You lack self-love and awareness.
  • Your self-worth comes from outside sources.
Photo by Jose Aragones on Unsplash

Have no fear. You can take steps to stop being a people pleaser.

If you want to rid yourself of people pleasing behavior you can start by establishing boundaries…



Janice Tovey

My passion is writing. I also love reading, teaching, animals, nature, music, and humor. I am curious about everything and enjoy writing about all things.