Keep Love Ablaze With These Surefire Ways

Rekindle the romance

Photography by Janice Tovey

Don’t stop the feeling of romance that comes with dating just because you have been married or in a relationship for 5/10/15/20 years!

The following article offers advice on how to rekindle romance and keep it ablaze.

At the end of this article are “50 Questions to Keep the Spark Alive.”

Here’s how to keep your love ablaze:

• Two Different Things: Being in love and the act of loving are two entirely different concepts. Being in love is a passive act. It is a day dream world of fantasy. The act of loving suggests taking action to foster romance. The act of loving involves not only thoughts but actions. Concrete steps to keep the love alive.
• These behaviors can include expressions of tenderness, emotional and physical affection; empathy; sensitivity; an awareness of a partner’s wants; compassion; sharing likes and hobbies; and allowing for authentic exchange of feelings and personal beliefs.
• It is also important to recognize, accept and appreciate the love that is being offered. Rather than dreaming about love, it important to take action. Be involved in this reciprocity allows us to experience gratitude and return the love and appreciation we are given.
• Individuality: To keep love alive it is vital that each partner retain their individuality. And, respect the other as a unique individual. This takes the form of holding on to your point of view, autonomy and independence. It may be romantic to regard your partner as your soulmate or your “missing link” but, this imagined oneness destroys any chance of romance.
• There is no romance without first feeling unique, distinct, separate and being appreciated for such. Each partner must maintain their own personal goals and interests to ensure romance is kept alive.
• Be aware of your critical voice. It is natural to feel defenseless and vulnerable when you express feelings of love. In caring relationships you need to ignore your inner critical voice. Don’t let negative assessments of your feelings for someone make you afraid.
• Your critical voice will try to make you feel insecure and encourage you to run from intimacy. Maintain…