Janice Tovey
2 min readNov 20, 2021
UpSplash Mark Adriane

You Know You Want It!

I was thinking about how important attention is to each and everyone of us.

As adults we don’t want to admit this to ourselves. But we all crave attention and validation as human beings.

It was big AH HA moment for me the day I was honest with myself and admitted just how much attention means to me. From the smallest gestures like a smile to receiving praise for a job well done. When we kid ourselves that recognition doesn’t matter, or that we are some how better than all of the other attention seeking humans, we cut of an authentic part of ourselves. We deny ourselves something very human. It is not being selfish, self-centered or egotistical. It is normal.

For me to realize the importance of attention in my life was freeing. I am not going to hide anymore. I know what I need and I am going to try and get it. I am not selfish, or immature, I am just human.

I used to feel ashamed for needing attention, maybe a childhood thing but not anymore. I may not always get the accolades I desire but I am certainly in the game.

And you know what, so is EVERYONE ELSE. So why shouldn’t you be?

Attention reinforces behavior, sometimes good, sometimes undesirable. If I keep giving my dog biscuits in an attempt to stop him from begging for biscuits I will be unsuccessful. If I reward my dog for fetching a ball or sitting, I will be successful. Sometimes any kind of attention, whether negative positive will also reinforce behavior.

This led me to think about some of the negative posts I am seeing on Medium. If we want to extinguish this type of writing, this behavior, all we have to do is stop viewing these stories. Ignore it, pretend it doesn’t exist. No views, claps, comments etc. Watch how fast it goes away.

If we divert our attention to more positive and constructive stories, we can literally shape the collective information that is being posted. No one is going to post a negative article if it doesn’t get any views. These negative posts are looking for attention. Stop the attention and they will go away.

We all want the views. If we post stories, eye catching but negative, and no one reads them, we will stop posting this type of information.

If you want something to go away ignore it.

Don’t comment or engage in an debate. Pure and simple ignore.

The writers on this platform have the power to shape the “tone” Medium takes.

We do this by withholding attention, views, and comments. We then reinforce the types of articles we find inspiring, informative and positive.

Remember, if you want something to go away, stop giving it your attention.



Janice Tovey

My passion is writing. I also love reading, teaching, animals, nature, music, and humor. I am curious about everything and enjoy writing about all things.