Why You May Find it Difficult to Receive Attention, Compliments or Gifts

It can feel safer to give then receive

Photo by Jornada Produtora on Unsplash

We have all been told that it feels better to give then receive. For many it is. An unselfish act that makes others feel good. Us too.

There may be more.

As it turns out, psychologically speaking, giving can be less stressful than receiving. Receiving for some causes distress.

Here is why:

1. We don’t feel worthy of the attention or gift. Deep inside we experience feelings of being unlovable, not deserving, and flawed. We may have issues with trust and are suspicious of someone’s intentions. It may be difficult to really believe that another person genuinely cares about us without us having to make an equal exchange. We all know that feeling. Someone has given an unexpected or a bigger gift and we feel off balance.
2. Shame from childhood, feeling unloved or weak because of needs not met or being made to feel selfish or unlovable contribute to the unease. As an adult we learn we have to be self-sufficient and not depend on anyone else to avoid appearing needy.
3. We may fear we are being a burden to another person if we take and do not reciprocate. We may be indebted to the other individual and feel anxious. We have…